April 18th
Our last lunch as Master and Mistress . All went went well except when I lost the plot with part of the speech much to everyone's amusement !!

Wardens, Visiting Masters, Liverymen, Ladies & Gentlemen

First speech .Presentation of Prize between the main course and dessert

Like other Livery companies we have strong connections to the armed forces and we award prizes for outstanding service  .It is my pleasure to present this year’s prize for outstanding contribution to the RAF No 1 Aeronautical Information Documents Unit to Sergeant Ben Williams . I would like to call upon Wing Commander Slim Dyer  to  read the citation of the award ……………

Stationed at Number 1 Aeronautical Information Documents Unit at Royal Air Force Northolt, Sergeant Ben Williams has demonstrated, throughout an extraordinarily tumultuous year, his ability to motivate and lead his fellow Service men and women with the utmost dedication and loyalty.  At a time when the Unit was suffering loss of key personnel, his immediate boss received a short notice deployment on operations.  Sergeant Williams took charge, assuming further management responsibilities for three key products pivotal to flight safety, namely Low Flying Charts, En-Route Charts and Military Flight Approaches.  Throughout the period, he motivated the chart design cell to meet targets which would ordinarily seem completely impossible.  It is by no means an exaggeration to state that Sergeant Williams’ professional attitude and selfless devotion to achieving the task contributed in no small way to the success of recent operations in West Africa.

Bolstering morale throughout his Unit, through social occasions and sporting events, his selfless commitment to looking after his people has made it possible for No 1 AIDU to weather the austerity storm and begin to pull through these difficult times.  Devoted to Queen and Country, Sergeant Williams is an exceptional pillar of the community and a truly outstanding ambassador for the Armed Forces.

Consequently, I have absolutely no reservations in recommending him for the award of the Worshipful Company of Water Conservators Prize

Thank you Slim

Ben Well done . Congratulations . Please come and receive your prize.

Whilst I have your attention , I would like to call on the Master Hackney Carriage Driver  to make the draw for the 100 club  

 Second Speech in response to that to the  Company by the Principal Guest Paul Hillman President of CIWEM 

Wardens, Visiting Masters, Liverymen, Ladies & Gentlemen

Thank you  Mr Paul Hillman for your most interesting speech . It was insightful . Your point about different approaches to the use of toilets puts me in mind of the experiences that I had during privatisation in which I was asked in a letter to advocate the use of gardens to 'make oneself comfortable' . I declined on the basis that roses might present a health and safety risk . I am also reminded by you of the fundamental importance of water to life and what we have put in the foreword to our book Reflections on Water .. what is the answer to the meaning of  life , the Universe and everything ......it is not 42 , it is 18 the molecular weight of water!!   

Now is the time for me to make some introductions . First may I introduce to you our new Master elect Ivor Richards , the Thames Warden elect  Roger North – who cannot be with us today  , the Fleet Warden elect , Peter Hall and the brand new Walbrook Warden elect  Keith Tozzi who cannot be with us - so Ivor and Peter please stand  and take your acclaim

May I also introduce 2 new Court Assistants (Elect) – Rob Casey & David Lloyd Owen. Please stand

And now may I introduce  David Barrow, Richard Franceys & Carolyn Roberts as new Freemen and David Richards as a new Freeman by Patrimonial Redemption from his father the Master elect . And may I introduce Alan Kay ,  Malcolm Butchers, Simon Catford, Hugh Masters-Williams & Nigel Snee as new Liveryman. Will you all please stand

But I now have the pleasure of introducing Madeleine Rose Lunn  Born on the 3^rd day of July 2011, the lawful Daughter of Martin Lunn, Citizen and Water Conservator, a duly admitted Freeman on the 21^st day of March 2005, be entitled at the age of 21 years to be admitted a Freeman of the Water Conservators Company by Patrimony.

This entitlement being in compliance with Ordinance 6b as constituted on the 6^th day of July 1999, and ratified by an Order of the Court of Aldermen dated the 1^st day of January 2000.

Oh yez  !!!

 Madeleine is the first Freeman to be admitted in this way – so Martin  will you please come and receive the  certificate . 

Every Master I have heard speak towards the end of his or her year says the same … it has all gone so quickly . and whilst we have some 2 and a half months to go  , this is my last lunch as Master.We have really enjoyed ourselves and made a number of new friends some of whom are here today .

We have striven this year to set clear objectives which bring benefit to all of the company and I emphasise all so we have tried to reach out and involve as many members as possible in events and projects  . Well we have not achieved a 100% and never expected to  but we have done very well . By the end of the year we will have delivered several completed projects and I look forward to writing the review of this year  . I am very pleased and proud to be a member of a successful  team . Thank you to our Court and in particular to the FMGP Network and our  Clerk  for helping to deliver .Thank you to the WET 10 , which was chaired by Colin Drummond one of our Past Masters , and of course with the contribution from Jeremy Courtney Past Master Farmer and Rex Thornborough Master Gardner who is sat beside me on the top table.

I have been asked what Lis and I  will do to fill our time . I think that I have got enough to do in Wales to keep me busy for a while yet . But what will we do when that comes to an end 

The other day I heard a story of what might be in store .and I recount it verbatim .

The other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes.

When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on sir, how about giving a pensioner a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a fascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So my wife called him a rather rude name . He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote..

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus, but we try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.I look forward to hearing during the stirrup cup what naughty tales the Past Masters present can tell us about their retirement activities.

Well that’s it folks as they say .I m very glad to announce that at the nomination of Court Assistant Mike Williamson , today’s retiring collection will go to Water Aid  a very worthy cause as described on your menus – so please give generously... we raised £ 800  

May I invite you  all join us at the  Stirrup Cup. May I wish you all a safe journey home and may God go with you